


over again

by raconteurlarry



Series: Larry One-Shots / raconteurlarry [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Eleanor Calder/Louis Tomlinson, Insecure Harry, Inspired by Music, Light depression, M/M, Music, Song - Freeform, Take me Home, eleanor's just mentioned tho, idk - Freeform, idk if that tag is even that relevant but okay, over again, silent treatment ?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 23:14:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5559407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raconteurlarry/pseuds/raconteurlarry





	over again

Louis has been going out with Eleanor so much more recently. Sometimes he's still by her side even when management didn't demand him to. Harry noticed this, and he's worried. What if Louis doesn't love him anymore? Why would he do this?

 

At the back of his mind, something was telling him that he might have been expecting this. That one day Louis would find someone else, caress their cheeks, compliment them everyday, wake up next to them, give them cute glances, sing to them each night, look at them the way he used to look at Harry, and love them like he used to love Harry.  _Used to_ , cause Harry assumes the blue-eyed boy loves him no more.

 

It's been going on for three months, and Harry can't hold his feelings anymore. He needs to let Louis know that his heart aches when he's with her, and that should be him holding his hand. He almost wants to slap him, if he's being honest.

 

But his world comes crashing down on him, when he sees his twitter.

 

#ElounorKiss is trending worldwide.

 

His eyes go wide, and layers of tears are begging to fall. As much he doesn't want his heart to break the millionth time, he needs to know. He hesitantly taps the hashtag, and hundreds of tweets are being posted just after a few seconds when he refreshes it. He looks at the pictures, and he knows that the fans know when a picture is photoshopped. They've been trained, and the Larries are trying to hold on. Elounor shippers are going wild and he couldn't believe it. Louis wasn't even supposed to be with Eleanor today. Half of the Larries were crying, and the other half was trying to calm them down. The picture actually did look real, and it was, Louis had his hands in Eleanor's hair while her own was locked around his neck. How could he? He looked through the internet, hoping for some kind of theory to relieve him, that maybe it was all just a joke. That it was just a really good photoshopped picture. Some on tumblr had posted that Louis was just faking it. After all, he's a great actor. But Harry had so many doubts, Louis had looked passionate kissing Eleanor in the picture, as if he really was in love with her. Just then he was about to curl into a ball, management decided to call him. He wanted to shout at them for starting this in the first place, for forcing Louis into a relationship. But he couldn't, he just picked up. "What?" He snapped. They'd told him that he was to go on a date with Taylor. He argued, but then somehow, maybe this could be some sort of revenge. He knew it was wrong and it was just so low, but he couldn't help it. He needed some kind of distraction, anything, so he just accepted. He gave in to their orders. He was to pretend that he'd been at her house all night. He felt sorry and guilty. The fans didn't deserve this. If he did this he would be lying to them. Although it wasn't really anything new because he had to lie to some of them about he and Louis before, because management didn't allow them to love.

 

He cleaned his room, dressing up and leaving.

 

It was gonna be a long night.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Management went as far as to force Harry into kissing Taylor, and had hired paparazzi take shots of them. Of course it went viral, especially on Twitter, which caused the Larries to cry even more, a few had already lost hope but the others were desperately trying to convince them that everything would turn out okay. But no doubt Louis had already seen everything.

 

Said boy went home at around four in the morning. He found Harry in the kitchen, with circles under his emerald eyes, which were now red from crying. He wasn't balling his eyes out anymore, however, he was running his hand through his unruly hair in frustration. The other lads tried talking to him, but he would give no answer whatsoever. He didn't want to snap at them when they didn't deserve it. He always said things he didn't mean when he got angry.

 

"Haz?" Louis whispered. Harry's head shot up, and his blood boiled even more at the sight of Louis. "How dare you call me that when you've been out with her all day!" Harry shouted. Louis was taken aback, but his brows furrowed, and his lips went into a tight line. "Harry I was-" Harry cut him off, "What, Louis? Cheating?! Cause that was exactly what you were doing! I can't believe this!" He went right past Louis and into the living room.

 

"Well what about you?! You weren't any better, Harry!" Louis shouted back at him. "You started this! I'm so damn blind, I don't know whether I should hate you or myself!" Louis' eyes went wide, and his fists clenched. "I wasn't cheat-" Harry wasn't having any of it. "Bullshit!" Louis flinched, Harry only seldom swore. "Louis, just tell me," Harry became so so angry, that hot tears were trailing down his cheeks. He hated it. He hated when he got this angry, he should be making Louis cry, not himself. "If you love her, then leave me. I'd rather know the truth than go on thinking that you actually love me, because that's what I thought all this time. Where did I go wrong?" Harry was full on crying, and his heart constricted in the worst ways possible.

 

"I'm giving you all my heart, Louis. I've never been so committed to someone. Louis, did you think this was just a joke? That we,  _us_ , was just a joke? You said you'd never leave me, but what are you doing now, Louis? Was it all just empty "I love you's", Louis? I'd jump off a cliff for you, if you wanted me to. If I had to, I would," Louis felt his chest twist, and his heart wrenching at his words. "Do I have to let you go, too, Louis? Because you wouldn't love me back? Because you wouldn't love the person who loves you more than anyone could? Because you wouldn't want a little us running around the house one day? Because you'd rather go home to an empty bed, than see my stupid face? Please go on, Louis. Break my heart more." Harry's voice cracked, and he couldn't say no more. He was so tired.

 

"Harry, I'm sorry I hurt you because I love you." Louis said, also crying. "I'm sorry for trying to protect you," Harry's eyes held so many emotions, but right now, it showed confusion the most. "People were throwing insults at you, Harry. I couldn't have any of it," Louis sniffed, "So I asked a favor from Eleanor, and I was crying every night because I'd hurt myself, but mostly you as well, but I wanted you to be safe and away from everyone so badly. I promise I didn't do anything with her." Harry was shaking all over. "I'd be more than happy to be with you and no one else, Louis. Even if that means having the world tying me down with words and piercing me with them. That's okay because I'd still be with you."

 

Louis' breath hitched. "Harry, please, the world is too unfair to you. I won't let that be any longer." Harry shook his head. "No, Louis. You know what, let's just..." More tears spilled onto his shirt and the carpeted floor. He was surprised and disappointed at himself, because he'd never thought he'd actually say it. "Harry, no, don't, please." Louis knew what he was about to say, but he didn't wanna hear it. Ever. "Harry Edward Styles, don't you dare. Don't... just please, stop." Suddenly, it seemed like he wouldn't care if someone shot him right now, he'd probably even thank that person for doing so.

 

"Let's just break up." Harry finally said, and he doesn't know if he can feel anymore. "No, Harry, don't do this." Louis begged. "We... we can work this, right?" Louis stepped forward as Harry stepped back. "Y-You... you make me strong, remember? And we're supposed to be happy together-" Harry's head was spinning. "Th-That's the thing, Louis. We're not happy together." Louis grabbed the taller's hand. "W-We are! I-Its just that there are a lot of things in our way. We can... we can face it together. You and I against the world, right?" He was hoping so much that all this was just a nightmare, he would wake up, and greet Harry, telling him, "Good morning, beautiful," just like before.

 

"Louis, please. I know, I know I'd said that. But Louis, can't you see? Now, I just... it's just not like how it used to be." Harry struggled, trying to keep himself steady. "W-What do you mean its not like how it used to be? Harry please tell me. I'll- I'll fix it. I'll fix it for you. Please tell me." Louis' hand reached to cup Harry's cheek, but Harry was quick enough to stop him with his own hand. "Louis, you can't fix it. I'm- you're- we'll be better off without each other-" Louis' grip on Harry's hands tightened in the slightest.

 

"Don't ever say that!" He shouted. Harry was taken a bit by surprise by the sudden outburst, but he manages to say, "No, Louis. Listen to me," Louis looks down, his mind full of chaos. Harry continues, "You're gonna find someone else, okay? That's the truth. I'm just not the one for you, Lou." Louis whole body ached when he heard the sweet nickname, and the words that came along with it. "Harry, just... no. Y-You  _are_  the one for me. What about our tattoos? What about "They Don't Know About Us", Harry? We didn't write it for nothing. What about the good morning kisses, Harry? What about all those nights? What about bringing me tea? What about just being together? What about "next to you"? What about "my first real crush"? What about "if you could have anyone in the world"? What about us, Harry? The-"

 

Harry bit his lip, "Louis," he now held onto Louis' hand more properly, his thumbs caressing the back of the shorter boy's hands. Louis had never been so anxious and afraid in his life. "Y-You'll be happier, and you can love that person freely, without having to get so much hate from homophobes, you can love that person without having to worry so much, you can love that person in public, you can love that person without management restricting you and forcing you." Louis refused, and his cheeks were stained as more and more tears flowed.

 

"I can never be as happy with anyone as when I'm with you, Harry. Please believe me." He just wanted to scoop the other boy up in his arms, hugging him tight until he sleeps. "Louis, I'm... I'm gonna go. You'll find someone better. Maybe not now, but soon." Harry bent down, and kissed his perfect, thin lips that was so beautiful on his own, giving his all, thinking that this could be their last kiss. He gave him a pained smile after. "I hope they treat you the way you deserve to be treated."

 

Before Louis could come up with anything, just anything to say, Harry let go, making his way to the door and closing it behind him. Louis broke down, on his knees and crying, burying his face in the palm of his hands. He doesn't know how long he's been like that, but he knew it was all over. He decided to get up, his back hurting from being in the same position for about two hours. He took his jacket, the green one that he would share with Harry. Harry, his angel, Harry, his sunshine, Harry, his lover, Harry, his whole universe, Harry, his soulmate, Harry, his everything. But now, his everything is gone.

 

He went out, locking the door and exiting the building.

 

Little did he know Harry was there, in the corner, crying quietly, waiting for him to leave their flat. He entered it, using the keys he had.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Louis came back after some time, but the moment he entered their (or was it his, only, now?) flat, he knew something was wrong. He'd check everything, and found out that only his stuff was left. Realization hit him as he spotted a note on his bedside table. It was stuck to the framed picture of he and Harry when Louis jumped into his arms, and Harry carrying him when all five of them first became a band at the X Factor.

 

His breathing became uneven again.

 

_Louis, I decided that I take some of my things with me. You'll forget soon. It's better this way, I'm sorry. You'll be alright. You probably know where I am right now. If.. if you still wanna talk, then I guess you know where to find me._

 

 _'But I won't forget.'_ He blinked his tears away as he noticed that Harry didn't leave any "I love you." at the end. He remembered how Harry would always get a bit sad when Louis didn't say "I love you." to him at the end of their calls, which rarely happened because Louis loved Harry so much to forget to do so.

 

Four days passed, and Louis and Harry are still both very broken-hearted. Nothing was healing the scars and wounds in their heart. Louis couldn't sit back anymore, so he left the flat, going over to Harry's. He knows, he knows Harry didn't mean it when he said they should break up. He knows Harry's just so sick of everything. And he's going to take care of him. Miraculously, he wasn't seen by anyone, much to his relief.

 

He reached Harry's house, and knocked on the door. Once. Twice. Thrice- and it was opened, revealing Harry in his sweats, and a tank top. He looked the same as he was three days ago, only much, much worse. "Wh- Louis?" He said, his voice raspy. He couldn't believe he was actually here. "C-Can I... come in?" The smaller boy said. "Sure..."

 

They went up to Harry's room. Harry laid down, his back facing Louis as Louis sat beside him. He noticed how light Harry had gotten, feeling and seeing that the bed didn't sink as much as it used to under the curly-headed boy's weight. He felt like thousands of burdens were being placed on his shoulders at the sight. "Harry? Have you... have you been eating?" Louis asked, the thought of Harry not eating at all made his heart beat faster and at the same time, stop in despair. "Yes." The younger lied. "Tell me the truth..."

 

Moments of silence, and then, "O-Okay... I-I haven't..." He'd admitted. "Why does it matter?" He says, feeling uneasy. Louis got hold of the white sheets. "Of course it matters, please eat." He said. "I can't. I'm too tired," was Harry's reply. "I'll fetch you something-" Harry turned to him, saying, "No, Louis. Don't. You have better things to do." Louis began, "But-" Harry shook his head. "C'mon, Louis. Insult me. Because that's what I deserve. I'm nothing. I'm nobody," He pauses as he sits up. "And I will never be anybody because I love you so much that I can't consider myself someone who is worthy of you. Because you only deserve the best. Please, Louis. Hit me. Please just say it, say you hate me and that you never want me back in your heart ever again," His voice cracked, "Just say the word, I'll disappear for you. I'll have your wish as my last command if it makes you happy. Please just tell me, I'm begging, Louis. Just say it and it'll be over. You're gonna be happy and I'll be free, yeah? You want to be happy right? Please just say it..." Louis felt like crying again, because the love of his life is sobbing now and he doesn't want anything more than to shower him with kisses, like he should be.

 

"Haz, I wouldn't ever hit you," He scoots closer to him, "You, Harry Styles," He plays with Harry's locks, "are my darling angel. Why would I want to hurt someone such as you?" He places a soft kiss on Harry's forehead as the sobbing boy hiccups, "B-Because I-I accused you a-and you j-just wanted to p-protect me b-but I was a selfish b-brat and-" He stops, crying more, because he thinks he's supposed to be suffering more than this, but here he was, actually being comforted by the only person he'll ever love. "You're not a selfish brat, baby," Louis brings him into his arms. "You were just overwhelmed, that's all. Everyone makes mistakes, babe. This is normal. Having a fight is normal and its honestly also healthy, yeah? Lets you know someone's afraid to lose you." His voice was quiet, as if Harry would shatter if he talked louder. "W-Why are you here? Don't you hate m-me?" Louis shook his head, giving him a small smile, something he hasn't done for what seems like eternity. "Can't hate you, even if I wanted to. Not like I'll ever want to, angel. You're always so good to me and it's nice to know whats in that pretty little mind of yours." He buries his head in the side of Harry's neck. "You're gonna find someone, Lou..." Harry's voice was so small, matching that of a child. "I already have. Do you really wanna be alone?" Louis asks, chewing on his bottom lip. "Alone with you, yeah. But I just... it's just not..." Harry trails off. "It's just not what, baby?" He closes his eyes. "It's just not.. good for you. I cause you too much stress." Louis replies, "Means you're important, Hazza. Please, give us a chance." He feels Harry tremble. "I don't wanna hurt you again." He whispers. "I don't think you will, babe. We'll be alright." He promises. "Really?" He pulls him impossibly closer. "Really." They stay in the same position for a while.

 

"Louis, I'm sorry for everything. I'll give you space-" Louis hushed him, "Haven't you given me more than enough? I can't be apart from you any longer, Haz. It's been too long..." He took slow breaths. "You always have to tell me what's bothering you, okay baby?" Harry closes his eyes. "Okay Lou..." Louis placed one arm around Harry's shoulders, and another around his waist, laying him down on the bed once more. He lifted Harry's top and over his head, tossing it somewhere in the room and doing the same to his own. "Lou," Harry whined, "It's cold." Louis fondly rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. "That's why I'm gonna spoon you." So he did, giving Harry kisses on his cheeks, his chin, his forehead, his nose, and his eyelids. He traced tiny circles on his back, soothing him. "Louis," Harry's eyes fluttered open. "You missed a spot," He smiled, tapping his lips. "Of course, love. Saving the best for last." And they kissed deeply, savoring each other's taste. They both sighed, looking into one another's eyes.

 

"I love you, Louis Tomlinson."  
"And I love you, Harry Styles."

 


End file.
